Interview from Annoyance zine


This interview was done by Anthony through the mail in late '94 with Lance, guitarist and vocalist of one of the best pop-punk bands around today, J Church. Read on and live them.

ANNOYANCE- You seem to have put stuff out on a few labels, do you hope to just stay with one, or is it a goal to be on as many as possible?
J CHURCH- People always ask to do records for their label. If we like them and we have stuff available, we do it. We love 7"s. I've always loved singles. If I had my way, we would do a new single every month.

ANNOY- What is your least favorite seasoning or condiment and why?
J CHURCH- Seasonings? Every season has its time and place. As for condiments, I don't like non-egg mayo. Veganism is cool and all, but vegan mayo sucks.

ANNOY- Have the major labels come a'knockin' yet? What did/will you do?
J CHURCH- They have. We haven't. We may. We may not. Realistically? Not very likely.

ANNOY- Ten years ago, where did you think you'd be in 15 years?
J CHURCH- Ten years ago I was 17 and I wanted to be a writer or a rockstar.

ANNOY- What do you think of cereals these days, what with brighter colour Fruit Loops, tons of new marshmallows in Lucky Charms and so on?
J CHURCH- Granola, Corn Flakes, occasionally Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. That's it at best. I generally hate cereal and breakfast and try to skip it.

ANNOY- What does the future hold for J Church do you think/hope?
J CHURCH- More records. More tours. Maybe a double album some day? Loads more singles.

ANNOY- What are your favorite albums of all time?
J CHURCH- London Calling - The Clash, Rites of Spring LP, Harvest - Neil Young, Beggars Can Be Choosers - Newtown Neurotics, Exile On Main Street - Rolling Stones, New Day Rising - Hüsker Dü, Cheap Tricks' Greatest Hits, that Mission of Burma double album, the Beatles White Album, I dunno...

ANNOY- Any cool new or old bands you'd like to recommend or just tell us about?
J CHURCH- Four Point Star are awesome. Guns and Wankers are great. Small 23 are cool.

ANNOY- What is your worst fear?
J CHURCH- No toilet paper at very key moments.

ANNOY- When do you think the vegetable invasion will begin and how?
J CHURCH- Vegetables? Ha! They don't stand a chance! F*ck vegetables! All hail Junk Food Vegetarianism!

ANNOY- Who is responsible for writing the music and lyrics?
J CHURCH- For better or for worse, that would be me.

ANNOY- How did you, a California band, get involved with Dead Beat Records, an Ohio label?
J CHURCH- They just wrote to us and got us on a good day. They seem to be real nice guys. We had a couple of extra tunes from the Quetzalcoatl album. The more recent single... well it's basically... it's somewhat illegal.

ANNOY- Where does bologna come from?
J CHURCH- Below the knee.

ANNOY- Who is your favorite relative and why?
J CHURCH- My uncle. He's a total f*ck up. Nah, my kid sister, Lori.

ANNOY- What is the secret meaning of "Open 25 Hours" music (BMI)?
J CHURCH- My favorite all night donut place has a big sign with that very declaration. Hunt's Donuts on Mission at 20th. Very good stuff. Try the apple fritters.

ANNOY- Just how many jellybeans are in the jar, do you think? How'd you come up with that?
J CHURCH- 594. I don't know why.

ANNOY- Any cool childhood tales to share?
J CHURCH- When I was in first grade, I was forced to take karate. I hated it and my instructor was a dick. So one day, after a few sodas, I pissed all over him in front of everyone. Not much of a story, but true.

ANNOY- What is your favorite article of clothing?
J CHURCH- My shoes.

ANNOY- What is your dream job?
J CHURCH- Haagen Daz taste tester.

REVERSE INTERVIEW! (give questions to these answers.)

ANNOY- It's sorta like wicker, ya know, but different, I can't describe it well.
J CHURCH- What's your mama's underwear like?

ANNOY- Zachary or maybe Marmaduke.
J CHURCH- What will you name your first born?

ANNOY- I'd have to say 25 round, soft ones with serrated edges.
J CHURCH- If you could swallow anything in a laxative factory, what would it be?

Well, that is all. I thank Lance and J Church heartily for their time and great music. Keep the faith.


Back to Article Index