IT'S A LIVING… BUT IT'S NOT A LIFE #13.91
J Church and Honey Bear Thing - June - Tour Time
ALL THE WAY LIVE
Okay, here are all the dates we have booked as of this moment. Again,
we've left out the West Coast for no good reason. Originally Dillinger
Four wanted to do this serious Summer tour but only dates in the Mid-West.
We were into it as we really don't like doing anything in the Summer anyway.
But of course, things worked against us and we wound up only playing once
with them. It should be a lot of fun. We're gonna be trying out some new
stuff on this tour. We'll have a lot of neat merch. I swear, no more shows
until the Fest in November.
I've tacked on our four local shows at the end of the tour schedule.
It's a fuck of a lot of local shows for one month. It's sort of like an
Austin Only tour. The Emo's show is the only one that we're actually headlining,
so it's your best bet to catch a full set. But if you only like us in
doses (and that's something I can respect), you've got several other chances
to see us this Summer. Shit, it's gonna be hot as fuck!!!
Incidentally, Ben and I really got into the way shows in Japan are promoted.
Promoters give their shows names. So you get Night Of Thrashing Vol. VI
or Pop Punks To Future Vol. III. So we've started naming our shows. Ben
is doing the Modern Machines show and it's called Brewed For Good Times
Vol. 1. My shows are DaDa Swing and Onion Flavored Rings and they are
Honey Bear Records Vol. 1 and Vol. 2. I'm making special buttons to commemorate
each show, so come down. They're gonna be events.
30 Denton, TX - 1919 Hemphill
1 Memphis, TN - Ernestine and Hazel's w/ Seein' Red
2 Chicago, IL - The Bottom Lounge w/ The Groovie Ghoulies, The Methadones
3 Milwaukee, WI - The Barely Legal House
4 Minneapolis, MN - The Triple Rock w/ Dillinger Four, Heads and Bodies
5 Carbondale, IL - The Lost Cross House
6 Lawrence, KS - The Haunted Kitchen
7 Oklahoma City, OK - The Conservatory w/ Klipspringer
8 Denton, TX - JJ's Pizza w/ The Pedestrians, Signal Lost
9 Austin, TX - Beerland w/ Marked Men, The Soviettes, Grabass Charlestons,
10 Austin, TX - Emo's w/ DaDa Swing (Italy)
14 Austin, TX - Beerland w/ Modern Machines, The Ergs, Modern Needs
23 Austin, TX - Sound On Sound w/ Onion Flavored Rings
TOP TEN OVER-RATED "CLASSICS"
Now, before I have to answer another shitload of pissed off emails,
I do like most of these records. I think most of them are good. Maybe
even great. I'm sure someone out there could take this same list and call
it their Top Ten Albums of All Time. But the lie that we think of as "Popular
Music History" starts with the idea that there are untouchable works
above any criticism. There are a million music histories out there. Write
your own story.
Here are some of the so-called "classic" rock records that
we've been told to like by generations of rock writers who are too scared
to say what they really feel in fear that they'll never get published
in one of the glossies. It's amazing how much smart people will degrade
themselves for less than minimum wage if it means being part of a legacy
of drug addicts, pseudo-intellectuals and straight up sexist pigs.
Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band - I'm not one
of those Beatle-haters that think they're entirely overrated. I love Revolver
and Abbey Road. I even like The
White Album, though mostly for nostalgic reasons. But I
could never understand what the big deal was with this album. Why does
every so-called legit music journalist list it as the best album of all
time? It's okay. There are a couple of good songs. But it always seemed
like a bunch of corny gimmicks and sound effects dumped on some of the
band's weaker material. The whole premise of the record is pretentious
and boring. The songs I love from this record (Good Morning,
Good Morning, Getting Better
and She's Leaving Home) seem more at home
on Revolver and would be hugely improved
by ditching the stupid farm animal noises and, ugh, that fucking harp!
Nevermind - Again, I loved Nirvana. Bleach
rocked my world when it came out. The first time they played in Frisco,
it was a beautiful shambles. You can imagine my shock when this album
became their big hit and was hailed by all the right-on people as music's
salvation. By far their worst studio album, Nevermind
is a great example of what was wrong with `90s production. Rather than
reacting to the corny gloss of `80s commercial rock production, the `90s
went one step further making the sheen of inhuman drums and electronics
completely faceless and dull. It's no wonder that every so-called modern
car commercial has that synthetic rock sound encapsulated by this record.
The guitars don't even sound like there's a human being behind it. The
vocals are doubled and tripled and processed to death. The drums sound
like something invented at the Lucas Ranch. To see Nirvana live was something
I'll always treasure and the songs on this record are perfect. It just
makes me think that there is a really, really amazing demo tape of all
these songs floating around out there someplace.
Ramones - I love these fucking songs. I totally
love these songs. But, fuck, shit, goddamnit, why the hell did they split
the bass and guitars into separate channels? Everyone makes excuses for
this and how it was a spontaneous act of genius. For me, it just means
that I never listen to this album ever. That's why I love It's
Alive so much.
Master Of Puppets - I was so bummed when this record
came out. I loved Ride The Lightning so much.
In fact, I just loved the first three songs. It was probably six months
before I even bothered to listen to anything past For Whom
The Bell Tolls. I bought Master Of Puppets
the day it came out. I had to have a friend drive me all around Hawaii
until we found a shop that had it. I put it on and was at first excited
by Battery, which remains one of their best
songs. The title track comes on and you know it's gonna be a let down.
If the title track doesn't lead off the album, there's usually a reason.
But I was still with it. By the end of the record I was just numbed by
the slick production and the ratio of fast to slow. While I've gotten
over the need for everything to be fast, I still maintain that the craziness
of the first two albums was a lot of their charm. The drums and guitars
sounded so much more alive. They sounded like a band that was hurtling
through space where the slightest miscalculation could kill them all.
Master Of Puppets sounded like four musicians
sitting for a month in a studio working on parts.
Young Loud And Snotty - I have no way of defending
this. You can tell me I'm wrong for putting this on the list and you may
be right. I always hated the Dead Boys. They were just a stupid band with
stupid antics and stupid lyrics that eventually found a way to use all
that stupidity as a gimmick. Plus, I hated Stiv Bators' voice.
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - Oh my God, this album sucks.
Take the absolute worst elements of Radiohead and Pavement and give it
a "roots" feel and you get this bullshit. What the fuck? Wilco
are such fucking phonies. What? Pavement made cool ironic pop and it sold?
Wilco gives you Heavy Metal Drummer. Radiohead
do something kookie with electronics and the press buys it? Wilco suddenly
discovers the Conet Project. Beck finds his roots on his latest record.
Well, you know what Wilco did next… Pavement, Radiohead and Beck
have all made some amazing records. No need for this one. I am trying
to break your heart? Fuck you!
Nevermind The Bollocks - Man, as a kid in Hawaii,
it was so hard for me to find this record, I eventually had to buy it
on TAPE two years after it was released! After hearing the Clash, the
Damned and the Ramones, I dunno, this didn't even sound like what I expected
punk rock to sound like. I know that sounds crazy as they were the first
band and blah, blah, blah. The first three singles are still great. Anarchy
in the UK, God Save The Queen
and Pretty Vacant should be National Treasures
in England. There are other good songs too. But so much of it is disposable
and plodding with way too heavy-handed guitars and a relentless barrage
of just SOUND. If you're a punk rocker, you've quite possibly heard this
album close to 100 times and have lost all perspective. I get that way
with records like Abbey Road where I've heard
it so many times I can't even judge Maxwell's Silver Hammer
much less Octopus's Garden. But if you just
close your eyes and really think about Problems
- weren't you just dying for that song to end so God
Save The Queen would come on?
Led Zeppelin IV - Yeah, Black Dog
is fucking amazing. Rock and Roll is so good
on record they could never do it justice live. The Battle
of Evermore is totally… Hey, this song kinda sucks
shit. What the fuck is this? I don't remember Stairway to
Heaven having those half-assed Jethro Tull flutes. There's
a lot of amazing stuff here. I can listen to Misty Mountain
Hop for the rest of my life. But Going To
California is the kind of shit that made me drop out of
college. The acoustic Shire of this album makes up 25% of the songs. That's
a problem the band never really reconciled and they certainly don't come
to terms with it on this album. Plus, context has to count for something
and at this point in time, I think we've all heard Stairway
to Heaven enough.
Pet Sounds - I sorta like a lot of this record.
But it's not the best record of all time. I think when people say that,
they mean to say that God Only Knows is
possibly the best pop song of all time and with that I can totally agree.
It's by far the high point of the album. There's some interesting production
stuff that everyone talks about. But there's a fine line between experimentation
and gimmickry. I don't think they were tinkering to cover up a lack of
material. But I think that maybe there was so much excitement about trying
new things that he rushed through the songwriting process at times so
he could hurry into the studio. There are some great songs on this record
and some songs that are really like Brian Wilson going through the motions.
I enjoy this record. But I don't put it any higher than hugely underrated
Beach Boys albums like Friends or 20/20.
The Joshua Tree - Fuck me! Was this the birth of
emo? Yeah, so the Edge seems like a cool guy and, while Bono should fucking
shut up, it's better that he's blabbering for the left… I think…
I fell for them at first. What can I say? I actually still like the first
two albums. I guess I've got a little emo in me. So shoot me, Shadows
and Tall Trees is a cool song. But this album went too
far. It's just so… EMO. God, it's like grading a 9th grade poetry
class. Those vocals are so emo! By that I mean they use that trick where
they over emote, they overplay their hand, and come up with nothing. There's
no real emotion at all. It's just a bunch of hot air.
IN THE J CHURCH VIEWING ROOM
WONDERFALLS (dir. by Todd Holland)
It's getting to the point where if a show with an interesting premise
gets cancelled in it's first season, you should check it out when the
DVD shows up as you've probably got a better chance of finding a gem than
actually watching TV. Wonderfalls is an excellent
example of that.
I had never even heard of the show when the DVD box set popped up. I
probably wouldn't have even checked it out if a random assortment of people
didn't start recommending it to me. Now, several months later, I've finally
had the time and I am devastated.
This was such a sweet, sweet show, it breaks my heart that it never got
a chance. TV viewers are as stupid as TV execs. TV is dead. With shows
like this and Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared
and Sports Night all getting killed off,
why would any smart, talented person want to dedicate any creativity to
Jaye Tyler is a young college grad who is stuck in her hometown at Niagra
Falls working at a crappy souvenir shop. Everyone knows that retail sucks
and customers suck and this is one of the few shows to actually show that
doing the bare minimum at work can be an intellectual endeavor. Though
the reason is never totally clear, inanimate animals (a wax lion, a monkey
statue, a very cute stuffed donkey) start talking to her in vague cryptic
From there each episode becomes a mystery. In her varying attempts to
do what the animals tell her to do, it isn't until the end of the episode
where the complete truth unravels and it's as satisfying as a Sherlock
Holmes story. In one episode, the animals keep telling her "Bring
her home" and the final chapter will bring you to tears. It's really
The whole cast is amazing. Caroline Dhavernas plays Jaye and in a perfect
world she would be a superstar as she's combines some of the best elements
of Parker Posey with Mary-Louise Parker. Katie Finneran is amazing as
her loving, Republican, lawyer, closet lesbian, sister. Lee Pace is hilarious
as her deadbeat, grad student, live at home, older brother. William Sadler
is her kind, right wing, Dad and Diana Scarwid is her travel book author,
secretly left wing, Mom.
A good cast is key to why this show is so powerful. The writing is sophisticated
enough that only certain types of versatile actors could do it. For the
most part, you are rolling along laughing at the witty dialog when suddenly
something happens and you're sobbing into your tater tots (I like to eat
lunch when I'm watching a series).
It really is a crime that this show got the axe. Four episodes and it
was gone. Fox is run by morons. There are rumors of a feature film. What
we really need are two or three more seasons.
(Fox Home Entertainment)
Back to Article Index